Reading Scripture: Mark 6:1-6

I've been reading in The Gospel of St. Mark lately and the topic of familiarity breeding contempt crops up when, in Chapter 6:1-6, Jesus returns to his hometown. The entire time Jesus is "home," everyone is questioning his authority. They "know" him too well according to their own understanding of who Jesus is. He will never be more than Mary's son, other than a carpenter, other than a member of the community who they watched grow up. They do not believe he is capable of miracles or is equipped to teach in the synagogue because there is no way he could be.

Verse 3 says that "they took offense at him" and in verse 4 Jesus says "'Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor.'"

They had contempt for Jesus and diminished him from his proper status as prophet, and yes, God's son, but He wasn't allowing His identity a the Son of God to be publicly proclaimed at this point in His ministry. I actually do get this concept a lot. If I suddenly professed a vocation that nobody suspected before, my friends, family, and colleagues would wonder what in the world was going on and whether I needed psychiatric help. I get it. Change comes as a shock to the people in our lives who are accustomed to a person being one thing.

And verse 5 says "He (Jesus) could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them."

I love how faith plays a role in Jesus working miracles. This verse does not imply that Jesus was limited in terms of ability although some would wrongly interpret it that way, but it does make clear that He will perform miracles only where there is that faith as small as a mustard seed. His neighbors really missed out on a lot by their lack of willingness to believe in Him. There were people in that town who would have benefited from Jesus' healing touch if they had just reached out in faith, but that wasn't happening. Jesus does not force Himself on people who are unwilling to believe. He is a respecter of free will, which is totally a double-edged sword. In free will, people have the freedom to choose, but it also means they have the freedom to choose. And if they don't choose Christ, as He is, He's not going to force the issue.

Imagine those few sick people who were healed though! What broke through to them? Were they new to the community or was it something Jesus said that really shifted their perception from the familiar to the unknown? I don't know, but I love that even here, in a place where so few people believed, there were still some who put their faith in Jesus.

Finally, in verse 6 it says "And He (Jesus) was amazed at their lack of faith."

I don't believe for one minute that God didn't know these people would be lacking in faith, but I also don't pretend to know in what way Jesus was amazed at their lack of faith. Disappointment would imply that He had expectations, which He didn't have. He wasn't surprised either. There is such a lack of understanding of who Jesus is that the lack of faith is amazing, but not in a positive way. I don't know. I think the closest I've come to understanding is simply Jesus' amazement at how hard it is for those who should know Him well to trust and have faith in Him. I read something similar in this article on the Catholic Exchange and it makes the most sense to me, trying to explain something that feels inexplicable.

My personal takeaway is that I don't want to be the community in Nazareth who thought they knew Jesus so well that they couldn't see Him as the Christ. And the only way to avoid that happening is by practicing faith in Jesus.

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Next steps

I interviewed for an entry level IT position today, at the same ministry where I worked previously. Both gentlemen were engaging and warm types of individuals, so that was terrific to encounter. I wasn't nervous at all and we had a solid conversation going. I'm not sure what will happen, but I am very pleased with my interview and am grateful to have had the opportunity. Let me reiterate again in case I haven't said it enough. I love the ministry where I've worked for almost a decade. I want to continue to work for them. Just not in the position I held prior or for the department I previously worked with. IT would be a completely different set of management and if what I saw in the interview is indicative of the trend for management styles in IT, then I think it's a positive working environment.

I don't believe in crossing my fingers for anything, but I do believe that this situation is in God's hands and if I'm meant to start a career in IT, then it will happen.

Meanwhile, the data entry team of people at my local pro-life pregnancy center have been tons of fun to work with. We're a diverse group of ages, which I prefer, and all of our youngsters are college boys. Those conversations are lots of fun to be a part of and also very interesting. It's easy to lose confidence and hope based on what you see as trending on Twitter or TikTok. But these young men, almost boys, are passionate Christians who want to serve the Lord in all seriousness. They're also crazy fun to talk to. So it's been a really lovely experience for the last week and a half. It was also nice to have additional income on top of my severance. And now I consider myself trained on the Etapestry data software system so that's cool.

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Self-Care: Staying at Glen Eyrie

Photo Credit: Not Mine

I am doing something for myself that I have literally never done before. I've dreamed of it, hoped to do it, but never actually acted on it. I am going to stay at Glen Eyrie Castle for three days.

All on my own. Alone, with no work obligations and next to no plans other than to just be at the Glen, walk the trails, and spend time reading (both Biblical and fictional), knitting, journaling, and listening to Orson Welles' radio plays in my beautiful Victorian room. 

You might consider my staying at Glen Eyrie to be Self Care: Step One. 

Glen Eyrie was the magnificent home of General William Jackson Palmer, the founder of Colorado Springs, and is a now a Christian retreat center owned by the Navigators. I stayed there once before for a writer's workshop, but found myself wishing, the entire time, that I was just there to stay at Glen Eyrie with no other plans or obligations. Now, I'm finally doing it.

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World Mental Health Day: Develop Relationships of High Acceptance

I'm sitting in front of my keyboard, pondering what exactly to write. I'm a little rusty, if you can't tell. The pandemic years were so difficult, in many ways, and I feel like even though I've started finding myself as a person, I lost some of the floweriness and bubbliness that I used in my writing. Or maybe that's something that just comes with age.

If there's one thing America does poorly, it's take time to rest. And when I say rest, I don't mean taking a day to try and get all the things done. Or taking a week to trot the kids to Disneyland. Because neither of those things are restful. Are they necessary and fun, yes, but restful, not in the slightest. But rest is what keeps mankind from breaking.

For me, my mental health isn't always the greatest. Exhaustion and boredom tend to go hand-in-hand with those days of emotional crisis where I just want to lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling. As an ISFP, boredom has a lot to do with it, and I'm aware of that aspect of it for myself now, more than I was before. So for me, caring for my mental health is a two-fold thing. One part is taking time to literally do nothing. Maybe read a book. Maybe watch one of my Asian dramas or a a movie in English so I can knit while watching. Maybe it's a combination of those things and then just sitting still and listening to absolutely nothing. I love the sound of silence. It's pure bliss. But, I can only do nothing for so long. The adventurous side of me needs trips up the mountain, or a drive further south, or even a day at the zoo to feel fully re-energized. Days of rest where there are no expectations and then a few days of fun are so crucial to my wellbeing.

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House Update

Our backyard as summer turns to fall (my sister's herb garden is on the right, with a little extra Halloween decor)

Oh my goodness, so many things have happened in the last few months.

As you all know, my sister and I purchased a house. We closed on August 31st and moved on September 10th.

Then, on the 17th, our parents moved in with us.

They had an opportunity to sell their home with no muss or fuss and downsize into a darling little patio home that is around 8 minutes away from our house. The only thing is there was a timing discrepancy, so for 19 days, they lived with us, or rather, slept in their trailer that is on the parking pad next to our garage, and spent their days in our house. We had a tower of their belongings in our garage. They closed on their new home without any issues, had the interior painted by the same painter who did a wonderful job on our home, and moved into their home on October 5th, just a few short days ago.

I would never recommend moving 2 households in the same month, but God was extremely gracious and blessed us mightily during this time.

My sister and I are possibly 75% finished with the unpacking and organizing. It's organized enough that it is starting to feel like home. Our neighborhood is charming, our home is 50 years old, and we are both relieved to no longer be living in an apartment complex that made our neighbor flinch in horror when we mentioned it. He is a police officer and has been called to that very same complex many, many times. I'm not surprised, it was a rather dreadful little complex in many ways, but we never felt unsafe because we are careful. As two single women, we have to be careful and so we take precautions.

The cats are adjusting, although Kiki thought for weeks that the furnace was a monster rising up out of the floor to eat her. She was used to heating vents in the ceiling, not the floor. But all is well. As soon as our private library is finished, possibly this weekend, I'll take pictures and share them. The books are mostly organized, but there are still a few more things that need to be done, such as hanging the artwork.

We're trying to decide if we want to host a Halloween party for our friends this year or not. I strained my left arm/wrist/hand somehow so have to be careful with how much physical activity I do with that arm. But we have nearly all of the supplies and decor needed for a Halloween party since we had planned one for last year that never got off the ground due to, well, you know what. 

Adjusting is the order of the day but also taking the time for self care and soul care, two crucial elements for any person, although most people don't know that soul care is an actual thing. Whenever I turn irritable and rebellious, it is because I am not feeding my soul, or because I am engaging in thoughts and activities that are detrimental to my soul. The soul is meant to be in communion with God, and when it is not communing the way it should, well, the entirety of my personality becomes misaligned. So I am making time for both of these things.

Last Thursday night I took a bath instead of a shower for some self-care and also read some in C.S. Lewis' The Problem of Pain for some soul-care. Sometimes I can manage to do both things at the same time, which is probably why I feel calm and peaceful the day whenever I take time for the Lord. I encourage you to do the same.

I will share more when time permits. I'm excited to share our personal library, a dream we've both always had, but never entirely believed would come true.

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My Blogging Life

I know that I've been awol these last couple of months.

Most people probably figure out who they are when they're in their teens or early twenties. Not so with me. All of my interests, or a large majority of them, were influenced by others. A couple of those interests are probably genuine, but I don't actually know that for sure anymore. Except for my love of Japan, Stephen King, and psychological dramas. That's all me.

I also know that I got tired. Tired of trying to keep up with the trends, tired of wondering if I should keep my blog to a single topic like the entire world recommends, and tired of wondering what that topic should even be. Books? Classic Hollywood? Japan? England? When I really just want to write about what I want to write about when I want to write it and those posts will range over a variety of topics and themes.

So there will be no common theme for this blog other than its being me. That's what I've settled on. I write to get my thoughts and emotions out, not for any real greater purpose. It's a way of purifying my spirit and giving me an outlet. I'm not an influencer and I have no intention of ever becoming one. If I ever write something profound, it will be almost entirely by accident.

But my readers should know one thing and it's that my love of Japanese culture is here to stay. I won't apologize for it, and I won't stop writing about their entertainment, but I do understand if Japan isn't your thing. Don't feel obligated to reply to those posts. It's fine.

I will write about more than Japan, however, so feel free to interact with me on those posts instead. I'm still participating in The Classics Club so there will be those posts. I don't anticipate many classic Hollywood posts going forward since there are so many dedicated blogs to that topic. Unless I'm ever inspired by an unusual film. And no more actual book review posts unless it's for a topic that I'm strongly attached to, like fantasy books or (like I said) the classics.

There will be more introspective posts going forward. Introspection is something I find helpful so when I ponder something that might potentially be of use to others, then I'll share it. In my opinion faith and introspection go hand in hand and as I continue to learn more about myself and my walk with Jesus, I'm sure some nuggets of thought will present themselves as shareable.

Oh, and my Femnista writing days are over. It was time to move on.

Know that my faith in Jesus is still established and entirely genuine and authentic. He is my Lord and Savior and without Him, I am truly nothing. Lying at the bottom of a cliff and raising up my hands to Him is how I spend a great deal of my life. And the grace of God always lifts me back up. Because being a Christian means falling and relying on His strength to get back up and keep moving forward. The Christian faith is not for strong, self-confident people who never need any help. It is for those who cannot save themselves. That is me.

Enjoy this music from Bob Carlisle, one of my favorite Christian performing artists, and a real testimony to the Christian walk.

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Feeding the Inner Woman in 2018

Aye me, what a long week. 

While I love working for a non-profit, year end can be positively exhausting because that's when the final donations come pouring in. It's terrific that people give because they can use the giving for tax purposes, but still, why wait until the last day of the year? Now we're finishing up year end reconciliation which means processing everything from 2017 that might possibly be left. Still, that should be finished by the 10th and then I pray we can heave sighs of relief for at least a little while. The life of those in data entry.

The apartment hunting is currently on hold for a few months, which might actually mean I'll be buying a condo instead, which would be lovely. I'd prefer to buy rather than rent anyway. At least then your money is going to purchase something. My focus instead is to pour as much of my paycheck as physically possible into my savings account. By the time April rolls around my savings should be back to where I want it.

Do any of you make New Years resolutions?

I only ask because I rarely make them in the form of a physical list or anything. Instead I think of something I've been wanting to accomplish and for whatever reason simply haven't followed through on. It's never something that made it to a list of resolutions, like losing weight or exercising more or cleaning out the refrigerator every two weeks.

Instead it's just usually something that will end up doing my soul good. Or my spirit good, whichever word you prefer.

This year I have two things on this list that will do my inner woman good: read as much of C.S. Lewis' nonfiction as I can and read through the entire Bible (something I am ashamed to say that I have never done).

I'm starting my Lewis reading by actually listening to Focus on the Family's radio presentation of C.S. Lewis at War. For any bibliophiles or anglophiles out there, it stars Jeremy Northam (Mr. Knightley) as Lewis and he does a stupendous job portraying the great author and theologian.

Next I'll read The Problem of Pain, a little book that I anticipate will pack a lot of meat for my tired and careworn spirit. Then I'll just go on from there, maybe posting random thoughts on nourishing spirituality that I might find, or keeping them as little nuggets to myself. We'll see.

As for reading the Bible, I really don't think that needs much introduction. Except to say that I'm using the Charles Swindoll Bible Reading Plan. It starts me off in Genesis (reading several chapters a day) and the Psalms. They're weekly reading plans for 5 days so you have Saturday and Sunday off and I've made it one week so far. I do love reading the Old Testament if simply because these people remind me that God's followers have never been perfect.

May your new year be full of spiritual fruit and contentment. Books, knitting, and cat snuggling will be in my year along with anything the Lord might toss my way. As always, He will be faithful no matter what comes. Blessings!

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Reflections on Lent

A photo I took on a walking trail at work last year.

First of all, I hope you all had a very blessed and peaceful Easter.

Until this year, I have never actually given something up for Lent. For the uninformed (which was myself until this year), Lent is the period of time that lasts 46 days between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday. My family, while people of strong faith, never really went into all of that traditional, liturgical type of stuff in our worship. But since I've been working at a faith-based non-profit, a lot of my coworkers participate in these types of expressions of faith. I now know a couple of people who participate in Lent and their decision gave me pause. I prayed for a couple of days, asking the Lord if my instinctual desire to give up this one thing was from Him. It turns out that it was, and so I did, although I did start a few days late. I didn't want to share about it until the period of Lent was actually finished since it's supposed to be something between me and the Lord, but now that Lent is over (starting tomorrow), I think it is time to share. So here are my musings on whether my giving up this one thing had a positive impact on my relationship with Christ or not and on myself or not. You can be the judge. 😊

The first question you're probably asking is what did I give up? I'm not one to give up food because if I do that my blood sugar gets so low that my moods are in constant, nasty flux. I wasn't going to subject my poor family to more mood swings than they already tolerate. Plus, I didn't feel God leading in that direction.

So instead I gave up something that I've been contemplating for some time . . . secular music.

Not that I really listen to a lot of secular music, but I do love classic pop and classic rock from the 50s and 60s. And I love musicals, which also fall into the secular music category. So I was giving up something that I do love and listen to regularly. Although I did excuse music in movies and television. I wasn't seeking it out on purpose, but I wasn't being called to give up movies and tv so if a secular song was in there, oh well. Anyway, I noticed a couple of things happening during this period of Lent.

Source

I went through phases.

Like, the beginning of Lent it was exciting to listen to just praise and worship. Sure, I also listened to some pretty awesome 80s Christian music as well, but it was all Christian. And it moved me in a very genuine way and I experienced a couple of encounters with Jesus while listening to certain songs. They moved me in a very real way.

Then, about halfway through Lent, I started getting bored. No Josh Groban. No Bobby Darin. No Michael Buble. No Phantom of the Opera. The best I could so as an alternative was a bit of classical music. So, the worship and praise that I had adored only a few days before now felt a little stale. I experienced an entire day where none of the songs felt genuine. All of them felt utterly and completely fake, and that wasn't something I was expecting. That, my friends, was an interesting little gift from the Evil one to mess with my mind that day.

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Give yourself permission to pursue your dreams

Memories shape our lives, sometimes even shape our futures if we let them. When I was in my early twenties, I was completely adrift. I'd graduated from high school, and didn't want to go to college. I talked myself into thinking that I didn't need it, that I could be equally as successful without it. In some cases, it's true that you can be successful without college, but not with me. Despite everything I said about not needing college, my not attending college weighed heavily on me. The lack of a college education was like a millstone tied to my ankle. And before anyone asks, no, my family never made me feel that way. They never acted like I was wasting my life because I was only working a part-time job and not going to college.

The final tipping point to action stemmed from the books I was reading at the time. I was a typical young Christian woman in her early twenties so I read a lot of Christian romance. Every time the heroine made a success of college I felt a pinprick of guilt. But it was Debra White Smith's book First Impressions that clinched it for me. The heroine, based off Jane Austen's Elizabeth Bennet, was a college graduate who was younger than me. I had waited 5 years out of high school, was now 23-years-old and Lizzie had surpassed me in her college success. I couldn't let that happen, and I couldn't live with myself knowing that I was letting an education slip through my fingers and swirl down the proverbial drain.

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Moving Ahead: A New Stage in My Journey

It's strange how emotions and feelings choose the funniest times to pop up and make a nuisance of themselves. Perhaps I shouldn't say nuisance since these are actually emotions I should be feeling, but I hate having the urge to burst into tears at the drop of a hat.

The Lord has blessed me mightily this month. Starting next Monday I will be one of Compassion International's newest employees in the SDP department (a lot of financial and data entry work). If you're not familiar with the company, they focus on child sponsorship in 3rd world countries and also handle a lot of disaster relief and family training. It's a wonderful, wonderful company that uplifts the lives of the downtrodden and shines the light of Jesus into the darkest of places. I can't even begin to express my love for this company, and the honor and gratitude I feel for their hiring me. They're changing my life, and in the best way possible.

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Discovering Man's (and Woman's) Great End

Have you ever noticed how the hustle and bustle of the world in which we live sometimes interferes with the spiritual side of our life? The car needs an oil change, the kids have three different activities a week, dinner needs making, laundry needs washing; we go, go, go all the time. And the one thing that gets forgotten is our time with God.

I'm just as guilty of it as the next Christian, probably guiltier than most. The sacrifice we make when we don't spend time with God clouds the vision of who He has called us to be. Because He has called each and every one of us to a purpose. Surprisingly, they're all the same purpose. Oh, we might have different dreams, but the person the Lord wants us to be is the same for every one of us.

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Make a Difference in Jesus' Name

"Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me."

Matthew 24:35-36

Today I looked into the eyes of shame and hopelessness hidden behind perfectly treated blonde hair and glitter eye shadow. Such a tiny little thing, probably only twenty, humiliated and ashamed that she needed help from a food pantry. Meek as a mouse, she accepted the food offered to her, tears so very near the surface. Wheeling her cart out to her neighbor's car and helping her load it into the trunk, we managed to make everything fit with a bit of squeezing. Then I turned to her, gently gripped her shoulders, and told her to never be ashamed or embarrassed for needing help. Because we've all been there and now our greatest gift is the opportunity to give to those who need it. She hugged me like I was her only friend in the world and it was only by the grace of God that neither of us burst into tears. I'll be there next week and the week after and every week with the hopes that the Lord opens a door for me to show her more of His love.

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A Tale of Friendships & Fear

It's totally weird that I'm getting page views from something called "The Tao of Badass." Not that I'm complaining, but really? I appreciate the views, but I'd much rather the people who would actually enjoy reading what I write find my blog instead of having it thrust upon them as an ad.

Anyhoo, in the same continuation as last night, I had lunch with my 68-year-old friend today. She's my volunteer for the library on Tuesday mornings, helping me process incoming holds, so we usually have lunch together afterwards. This time we packed lunch, one of my sweetest coworkers was also in the breakroom, so we all had lunch together, talking the Kindle Fire and the Royal Family's new baby (I'm full to the brim with news on Kate), and it was fun.

You, or rather I, really miss out on a lot by being afraid to connect with people because they might die. It's probably the worst thing in the world for someone with my personality type to be afraid to care. ISFJ's are genetically geered towards caring so when we try to turn it off, it's like our happiness shrinks. I'm so much nicer in general when I'm not worried about getting too close to someone. I suppose it doesn't help that I made friends with the library's security guard only to have an all-out war ensue between him and the bosses. It got ugly real fast and I heard complaints from both sides. It was hard because I really like both sides. So, he's gone now and I feel like I gave my friendship to someone who didn't deserve it, or used me falsely. It's a feeling of abandonment. I'm the same way when people move to another city or state or if they get a new job.

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The Father Figure in The Closer & Major Crimes

Provenza and Sanchez in The Closer

Today, as I watched Julio Sanchez on The Closer break down in tears in his superior’s arms, my heart shattered for him. Sanchez is strong. He’s a fighter. He became a cop when everyone else in his neighborhood joined a gang. And his brother was killed because he was wearing a baseball cap. The baseball cap Julio had given him for his birthday only a month prior. And when he clings to Provenza, their relationship moves beyond mere coworkers and more into the realm of family. No one else knows quite what to say to Julio, how to be there for him, what to do, but Provenza just let him cry out the grief and guilt.

There’s this weird belief in American society that real men don’t cry. Well, you don’t get more masculine than Julio Sanchez. But being strong wasn’t what helped him start down that road to healing, it was the tears, the ability to let his emotions out, that helped him more than anything else. And that’s why I love Provenza. Oh, I know, he’s had somewhere in the realm of 4 marriages and failed at all of them. He’s a smartass and gets into loads of trouble at least once every season, always accompanied by Flynn. But he’s also the Daddy of the group. He’s the supporter, the healer, the listener, because deep down under that gruff, grouchy exterior, Provenza cares.

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Joy Cometh in the Morning

Well, it's the beginning of a new month and anything has to be better than July, at least in Colorado. Have you ever noticed how life doesn't always meet our expectations? I don't know about you but I have what I always considered reasonable expectations in life. My expectations include a good family relationship, a job with people I like, a well-rounded education. I can also put time spent with friends, reading a good book, planting 60 iris bulbs (which I did by the way), or just unwinding after a long day. All of these things tell me that I'm physically secure. My life is stable.

So what do you do when life suddenly becomes a little less stable?

You know, those shootings in Aurora, CO and the Waldo Canyon Fire creeping so close to my home a few weeks before that. Suddenly life isn't quite as secure and stable as it once was. Suddenly things can happen, things I didn't bank on and certainly didn't welcome. If I may say so, they even had me freaking out just a little bit, as if my world were toppling. I never doubted God's sovereignty but it made me wonder why evil suddenly seemed so much more rampant than usual, at least in Colorado.

Then one day, right after the Aurora shooting I was driving home from work, listening to some Christian radio and the DJ stopped to pray. It was a woman and she gave a Bible quote from Psalm 30:5 that says "For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." You know how you've read something numerous times but it doesn't make an impact? I've read through Psalms at least 3 times in my young Christian life but I had no recollection of this verse. It was as if all the fear I'd been feeling was suddenly lifted away. It didn't exist anymore, at least not in a way that could hurt me or influence me.

Joy cometh in the morning.

Remember my dear friends that God is faithful and just. We don't always understand His plan or why things happen. But His anger lasts only for a moment and in His favor is life. We mustn't let our hearts be troubled by the tragedies of this world. It only lasts for a season and then we will be with Him. I just wanted to share this glorious bit of truth with you since God was kind enough to share it with me. God bless you. *hugs*

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A Nudge from C.S. Lewis

Sometimes it's hard to read complete books by C.S. Lewis. The man was such a master of the English language and his thoughts were so precise and so incredibly acurate to reality that it almost hurts trying to make sense of everything he said. Which is why I'm happy to have found a book called The Joyful Christian so I can read individual blurbs taken from his various books in the hopes that what he says will sink in and stay. Because let's be honest, Lewis had a lot of crucial insights into humanity in general and Christianity specifically.

So I just read the very 1st blurb which deals with *drumroll please* Right & Wrong. Since this is only a blurb it only skirts the basics of what Lewis wrote but it's enough to give me food for thought. When we hear arguments in our daily lives it's usually based on the idea that we share a similar view of Right & Wrong with the other person involved in the argument. In Lewis' words, "he is appealing to some kind of standard of behavior which he expects the other man to know about."

A standard of behavior. An accepted norm that this is right and something else is wrong. I love how Lewis remarks that humanity rarely argues with the Right & Wrong standard but tries instead of make a special case for himself as to why it doesn't apply to him in a given situation. That standard applied to a friend in another situation but not to me right now because . . .

I'm reading a book by Alison Strobel called Worlds Collide and it's fascinating watching the hero come to the realization that he needs Christ. He moves through logical moments of denial and need before asking himself some very basic questions such as does God exist and if so what is he going to do about it. Once he moves past those two levels he realizes the question of truth must also be answered. Is it relative or absolute? His conclusion is, according to the very fact that we can say something is wrong and/or sinful, that absolute truth exists.

Most people realize there is a right and a wrong. And most, if they thought about it long enough, would realize that it's not based on what they think at the moment. I'm sure that slavery was not considered a sin in the South but it still was one regardless of what they thought. Imagine the slaughter in the Roman games with Gladiators and Christians and wild beasts. It was a horrific evil committed against mankind regardless of whether they saw it as a sin or not. Human perception doesn't matter. Truth is absolute.

Which means that inwardly that standard of Right & Wrong exists in most people. If it didn't then there would be no point in quarrelling with someone because you don't have the same standard. Makes me feel sometimes as if I shouldn't even bother arguing with those of a more liberal bent because nothing I say is going to change their mind which means they don't believe in this Law of Right & Wrong or as Lewis describes it The Law of Human Nature. In his words "a body could choose either to obey the Law of Human Nature or to disobey it."

A person might choose to not participate in this Law of Human Nature but denying its existence doesn't work either. I could go on for paragraph after paragraph and reiterate the same thing but I won't. All I will say is WOW! Lewis managed to wrap up in a few paragraphs what it takes some authors 100s of pages to say. Truth is absolute and the majority of men are held to a certain standard or law. Disobeying is their choice but it doesn't mean the standard ceases to exist.

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One Day

It's a relief knowing that 28-year-old me is vastly different from 22-year-old me. Five years can make a huge difference in the life of any young person. Our perspectives change. Or at least they should. As Christians our faith should have deepened by this point. Or, unfortunately for many, that faith in God falls away altogether. I've seen friends who've had faith strengthen and I've seen friends who've had faith dissipate. I'm somewhere in the middle most of the time, which is actually a very sad place to be. My maturity levels have increased so much in the last few years and I've certainly become more open and agreeable to meeting new people than I used to be. But my faith, while there, isn't something I ever really exercise. I don't question it and I'm certainly not going to lose it. But that still, small voice meant to be the voice of God grows dimmer as the years pass. Why? Because I'm not exercising my faith. Because I don't spend time in the Word and I don't spend as much time as I should in prayer.

There you have it. My somewhat imperfect self. I'm happy with the 28-year-old me in all areas of my life except one; the development of my faith in Christ. The solution sounds so simple. Pray, read the Bible, and meditate upon Him. If only it were so simple. That's where Satan's little sneaky endeavors play a role. Something comes up and you cancel Scripture reading for only a day. My schedule is so hectic that before I realize it, it's been 4 days since I've said anything to Him other than a blessing over my meals. It feels almost like I'm a prodigal daughter except that I never deliberately ran away. I just sort of got distracted and well, wandered away.

The thing is: I know this isn't an easy fix. I'm at work at the moment so this is neither the time nor the place to sit down for some serious prayer and tears. That's always the way of it with me too. If I've wandered from Him, I pray, and I cry.  Is this what every Christian experiences? I'm not expecting an enormous epiphany. Oftentimes faith is the day-to-day experiences where I simply know that He's there and He cares. It's the trying to please Him with my life. That's when I'm actually happiest, when I'm closest to my Lord. That's when I care least about the fact that I'm single, or that I still have at least 2 years left in college, or that because of financial difficulty I still have to live at home. When I'm close to God, I love my family more and focus less on myself. When we're close, I care more about the troubles of my coworkers than I do when I'm not in communion with Him.

Those are the times when my love for Christ spills over into the other areas of my life. And it's beautiful. And it happens far too infrequently. God shouldn't be a fair-weather friend. Despite the terrifying amounts of hail and rain we've had this week, my life for the last several months has been good. It's been happy and carefree and because there haven't been any struggles, I've let time with my Savior slip by the wayside.

This isn't a "Now that you know about my lack of communion with Christ, I'm going to change from here on out" post. That would be complete and utter hypocrisy. I can only do this one day at a time. It's the same when I exercise. I don't look at the long road ahead of me. I focus only on that day. So, for this day, I'll go to church when I get home from work and do a little bit of confessing to Christ. Tomorrow is another day.

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Piers Morgan & Kirk Cameron

It's happened again. Another Christian being forced into an opinion on homosexuality and then named an ignorant bigot. Only this time that Christian is Kirk Cameron and the brute is Piers Morgan and I'm having a really hard time dealing with it. Piers is brutal in his opinions of people and always has been. He's hard to watch on America's Got Talent! because of that very problem. He rarely has anything nice to say about anyone. But I honestly didn't think he would stoop this low.

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