The stockings and gifts are opened, Christmas brunch has been eaten, the cats are in a catnip coma, and the prime rib is coming to room temperature.
Now I can sit at my computer for a few minutes, listening to Andy Williams' Christmas album, and just reflect. As I've already mentioned, it's been a tough year. A year of weariness and emotional upheaval and uncertainty. Have you ever experienced that feeling of being always off-balance? Of never knowing where you're going to land and whether there's safe harbor? That's been me, this last year.
But sitting here, musing on Christmas day, I'm thankful. I'm thankful for this one last Christmas with my family the way it's always been. Next year will be different. I'm going to be in a home of my own, and likely my sister will either join me or she'll get a place of her own.
I'm reminded of Virginia Woolf, in a way. I'm a single woman with a successful job. If I'm going to make anything of my writing and of my faith, then I need a room, or in this case a home, of my own. All the uncertainty of the past year fades under that reality. My fear of change, of altering the traditional, has actually held me back in moving to the next level of my life. It's not so much about marriage and children, but growing into myself, becoming the woman I am meant to be.
Excitement flutters in me now when I think of having my own space. There's no room left for fear, only exultation that my time is coming. The Lord has opened many doors in my life before, and here is another one that it is nearly time to walk through.
Blessings to you all and Merry Christmas!