Peace be with You

The stockings and gifts are opened, Christmas brunch has been eaten, the cats are in a catnip coma, and the prime rib is coming to room temperature.

Now I can sit at my computer for a few minutes, listening to Andy Williams' Christmas album, and just reflect. As I've already mentioned, it's been a tough year. A year of weariness and emotional upheaval and uncertainty. Have you ever experienced that feeling of being always off-balance? Of never knowing where you're going to land and whether there's safe harbor? That's been me, this last year.

But sitting here, musing on Christmas day, I'm thankful. I'm thankful for this one last Christmas with my family the way it's always been. Next year will be different. I'm going to be in a home of my own, and likely my sister will either join me or she'll get a place of her own.

I'm reminded of Virginia Woolf, in a way. I'm a single woman with a successful job. If I'm going to make anything of my writing and of my faith, then I need a room, or in this case a home, of my own. All the uncertainty of the past year fades under that reality. My fear of change, of altering the traditional, has actually held me back in moving to the next level of my life. It's not so much about marriage and children, but growing into myself, becoming the woman I am meant to be.

Excitement flutters in me now when I think of having my own space. There's no room left for fear, only exultation that my time is coming. The Lord has opened many doors in my life before, and here is another one that it is nearly time to walk through.

Blessings to you all and Merry Christmas!

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Four Things Tag

I randomly found this tag on Thrifty Bibliophile, and thought it sounded like fun. I don't mind doing tags every once in awhile, especially if they don't require me to spend a whole lot of time on them. Why am I doing it Christmas Eve? Because we're pretty much all set for Christmas, which is awesome! 
Four Jobs I've Had

1. Library Shelving Page
2. Library Circulation Assistant
3. Data Entry Associate
4. Data Entry Specialist

Four Things I Don't Eat

1. Stuffed Bellpeppers (ewww on so many levels particularly with the hamburger meat)
2. Red Chili (Dennison's is the only type I can stomach)
3. White Chocolate (bleh)
4. Those weird little baby octopus (YUCK!)

Four Places I've Lived

1. California
2. Oregon (3 different homes)
3. Colorado (3 different homes)

Four of My Favorite Foods

1. Sushi (yep, the real kind of sushi with the raw fish and everything, so yummy!)
2. Noosa Yogurt
3. European breakfast buffet with smoked salmon, tomatoes, rye toast, etc.
4. A really excellent Chicken Caesar Salad

Four Movies I've Watched More than Once

1. The Apartment with Jack Lemmon, Shirley MacLaine and Fred MacMurray.
2. The Lord of the Rings
3. Rogue One
4. Thor: Ragnarok

Four TV Shows I Watch

1. Gotham
2. Once Upon a Time
3. Stranger Things (it sorta counts)
4. Trollhunters (another Netflix original)

Four Things I'm Looking Forward to This Year

1. Renting an apartment or buying a house
2. Pursuing my writing with deeper purpose and focus
3. The possibility of working from home
4. Getting back into the blogging scene

Four Things I Can't Live Without

1. God's love and His promise of salvation

Four Places I've Visited

1. Helsinki and Vaasa, Finland
2. Disneyland
3. Vancouver, Canada
4. Mesa Verde, Colorado

Four Pet Peeves

1. The foot jiggle from people who think they have ADHD but don't (just STOP)
2. Being reminded of things I've already done because I remembered to do them
3. Talking instead of working while on your employer's dime
4. Tailgaters with blaring music

Four Things I Wish I Could Do

1. Retire now
2. Lose weight and keep it off
3. Get in the car and drive to wherever strikes my fancy
4. Finish everything in the span of my 33 years that I've started and haven't yet finished

Four Subjects I Studied at School

1. Victorian Literature
2. The British Romantics
3. Composing Poetry
4. Creative Writing

Four Things Near Me Right Now

1. An unopened pack of Luke Skywalker party napkins (why? Because I love them)
2. A pair of Elvis Presley blue suede slippers
3. Rebel of the Sands by Alwyn Hamilton (a book my sister lent me)
4. 3 different types of hand lotion (I obviously need to commit to just one)

I Tag . . . 

Because it's been awhile since I've been active on here and have no clue how many people are still reading my blog, pretty much anyone who wants to participate can. I'd love it if DKoren and Birdie would, actually, if I'm going to tag someone specific.

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I'm back and Merry Christmas!

My precious Bucky Boy enjoying his Christmas tree this year.

I look back over 2017 and a part of me thinks, “Wow, this year sucked.” There was a system transition at work that has yet to be completed even though we began in January 2017. Talk about wearing on the mind and soul.  I began battling a mild form of depression and started taking meds to combat it. This year has truly been a flux of up and down and back and forth; emotions whirling and friendships rising and ebbing a bit depending on my ability to interact.

But there’s another part of me, a somewhat larger part, that is now able to see quite a few of the blessings that have flowed my way in 2017. With the Lord’s help, I’ve finally overcome something I’ve struggled with for years. That’s the epitome of awesome, right there. My family traveled to Finland (our first major trip outside the country) and discovered family ties, ancestral land, and just an incredible culture of people that we never imagined experiencing. Finland is amazing and I love it with my whole heart and it connected a lot of the dots about my values and the pacing of my life. Apparently you don’t have to have been born in Finland to live a Scandinavian lifestyle.

Another thing I’ve learned, and I’m sorry it took this long to learn it, is that I should never try to change up important things when I’m in the middle of intense life experiences. Like this blog. I’m much more than just one thing, and while I deeply admire the people who are able to blog about just one thing, that’s not me. I can’t compartmentalize like that. I love classic films, but I’ll go for weeks, even months sometimes, without watching one. I love books, but heaven knows I don’t always want to sit down and review them. There are times when the books I read are too personal, too intimate to my soul, for me to really want to share. I write, I knit, I crochet, and I think, think, think, probably like the majority of people with “intellection” in their top 5 Strengths/Finders.

I tried to put myself in a box, format myself into what I thought others expected of me, but I can’t do that. I have to be free to be who I am. I love the Lord and I need to express that when the urge hits me. If I read a book that inspires me to talk about it, I need that freedom to write about it. It’s the same with movies and television, no matter the era. Travels and writings and craft projects may need to be shared.

All this is to say that after a hectic time of growth and stress and overcoming the loss of loved ones over the last couple of years, my blog is returning to Musings of an Introvert. This is what it should have been all along because that’s when it truly felt right to me and I was engaged with it. I know I’ve lost quite a few readers due to my hiatus and that’s okay. People come and go. But the intensity of my identity needs to be channeled somewhere and I always found blogging to be therapeutic when I did right.

To those of you have still have me in your blog rolls, thanks. I appreciate you and I missed you. And to any new readers that may crop up along the way, cool. We’ll find our way together. Merry Christmas!

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Movie Review: The Greatest Showman (2017)

After spending 2 glorious hours in the theater today watching The Greatest Showman, one thing struck home. Nobody should care whether the movie is a true representation of P.T. Barnum’s real life. That’s not what The Greatest Showman is all about; rather, the movie is the embodiment of believing in impossible dreams and of loving yourself despite what the world says.

My sister cosplays and depending on what she’s wearing and where she is, it’s hilarious watching people try desperately to not look at her. To pretend they don’t see her and that she isn’t dressed in full Victorian garb, bustle, corset, and all. Why? Because she’s different and people do . . . not . . . like . . . different.

P.T. Barnum was different.

And The Greatest Showman represents him as the glorious type of different that ignites the imaginations of the people around him. This movie tells you that it’s okay to be different because you still have the right to happiness, to family, to love, despite anything that anyone may say to the contrary.

So I pretty much spit on the Rotten Tomatoes critics that are complaining about everything from The Greatest Showman not being true to history (Really? You mean Barnum didn’t sing and dance modern show tunes through his life story?), claims about it being formulaic (Hmm, I’m pretty sure Sing got some pretty serious praise and The Greatest Showman is waaaaay superior), and containing some of the worst songs in show tune history (Ummm, you're going to try and teach me about music, now? I know what I like).

Honestly, it really just feels like modern critics have the exact same approach to the exciting and fantastical as the humbug critic in The Greatest Showman. Awww, did the poor wittle babies take offense at such an accurate representation of themselves? To steal a quote from George Gilbert, a favorite radio character of mine from Father Gilbert, modern film critics are "narrow-minded and prejudicial."

You put Hugh Jackman and Zac Efron in starring leads in a larger-than-life musical about chasing dreams and you’ve got a winner. I haven’t fallen this hard for a film since Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them hit theaters, and it’s disappointing to find the same critics who praised the lackluster LaLa Land being so boorish about this fresh, invigorating and just plain fun musical. Just when I really needed a toe-tapping good time, The Greatest Showman popped up to surprise and impress me, so much so that I wished I'd had the time to buy another ticket, turn around, and see it twice in the same day!

Hugh, it’s good to see you back doing musicals again and not bulked up to the nines playing Wolverine. You’re so much better than just an X-man and The Greatest Showman proves it.

And Zac, WOW. I have so totally missed you, dude! Not that you haven’t been in movies because you have, but, come on now, do obnoxious frat boy roles really match you? You’re better than those characters, and I LOVED you as Philip Carlisle. I miss hearing you sing and that number you and Hugh perform together is AMAZING. My advice for what it’s worth and that’s very little is to shelve any future frat boy films and stick to the classier roles. They suit you. Just own that you're a classy gent and run with it.

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