Remembering Robin

I've started this post so many times in my head and never knew quite what to say. But I figured I needed to get it out before any more time had passed.

Robin Williams. Genie. Peter Pan. Mrs. Doubtfire. That crazy dad in RV. The semi-evil musician in August Rush. The professor in Dead Poets Society. And the professor in Flubber. Every time I look back over my life, he's been there, in some form or another. And when I heard he had died, not just died but taken his own life, I broke down. It was like losing a long-time friend. He gave me so much laughter throughout my childhood and into my adulthood, so much fun, and so much hilarity. A part of me always expected him to be there.

When Bob Hope died I knew it was coming. He was ancient and it had to happen sooner rather than later. Death is less hard to accept when you know it's just around the next corner. But with Robin, we weren't expecting it. At least I wasn't. He was healthy (I thought), and had so many more years of acting left in him. Oh, I knew he would retire someday, but not for many, many years. And then he would be hosting awards ceremonies and putting in public appearances at various places, still making people laugh.

What I never expected was for him to die. I don't know about everyone else, but my thoughts immediately rushed to the Dead Poets Society. You remember, the main teenager in that movie kills himself at the end of the story. It shocked me to my core at the time because I didn't see it coming and this feels the same way.

What's left to say? I'll miss you. That's a given. How could you do this to us? That's another given. I have sorrow warring with confusion and rage. I've lost my Genie and my Peter Pan. I've lost my Robin Williams. He made Aladdin into such a stellar success. Can you imagine anyone else, ever, playing Genie with such heart? No. So just like when Jerry Orbach died leaving Lumiere voiceless, my beloved Genie is now silent.

Goodbye, my wonderful, precious, damaged Robin Williams. I never knew the pain and depression you suffered in silence. I will miss you for the rest of my life.