Musings of an Introvert

Friday, December 30, 2011


As we welcome the new year, I've realized just how much has happened over the past year that I hadn't planned on. I was promoted at work to a completely different branch library and a totally different position. Lots of new and fun learning experiences there, plus lots of new responsibilities. I started classes at a new university, this one a Christian university out east (online) that I really, really love. I hadn't realized just how much I yearned to be in a Christian learning environment until I was actually in one.

Most of all, I realized that I'm actually an introvert. What's more, that introverted side of me is becoming stronger now that I realize it's actually there. There's a board game night at a local church on New Year's Eve. Caitlin's planning to go with a young coworker of hers, also named Kaitlyn. I'm invited too but I have absolutely no inclination to go. Which has me wondering if my being this introverted is actually a bad thing. I've always been shy at social events with people I don't know. It's hard on me emotionally and my conversation skills fly right out the window.

Yet, despite my thoughts that this is actually a bad thing, I'm not unhappy in my introvertedness.

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Mini Period Drama Review: Little Dorrit (2008)

Wednesday, December 28, 2011


So, it seems that I have a Femnista article due on Little Dorrit in a few weeks (you can find most of my Femnista articles listed here). I believe January 17th, to be precise. Now comes the issue of what to write! I'm a verbose person who, if you give me a novel to write about, I could probably write an article as long as the book. Well, maybe not Little Dorrit, but some books. I'm wavering between writing about the tragedy of Mr. Dorrit's life or the gentle faith of Amy Dorrit. I could even do something on the nature of Mr. Clennam because I do have some intriguing notions about him. Sometimes the weakness of heroes is that they are too kind and therefore are either trod upon or they are too indulgent of weaknesses in others. Mr. Jarndyce of Bleak House anyone?

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a little Charles Dickens love

So, it seems that I have a Femnista article due on Little Dorrit in a few weeks. I believe January 17th, to be precise. Now comes the issue of what to write! I'm a verbose person who, if you give me a novel to write about, I could probably write an article as long as the book. Well, maybe not Little Dorrit, but some books. I'm wavering between writing about the tragedy of Mr. Dorrit's life or the gentle faith of Amy Dorrit. I could even do something on the nature of Mr. Clennam because I do have some intriguing notions about him. Sometimes the weakness of heroes is that they are too kind and therefore are either trod upon or they are too indulgent of weaknesses in others. Mr. Jarndyce of Bleak House anyone?

I'm extremely fond of Little Dorrit, despite the sorrows and agonies experienced by most of the characters. This is what makes Dickens such a master of prose. His characters are brilliantly imperfect. An event will occur and the audience groans in horror because it could have been easily avoided due to one action or another. But that is life. Oftentimes hindsight lets us see the mistakes that we wish had foreseen before actually making them. Ahh, the beauty of humanity.

Isn't it remarkable how God loves us regardless of our flaws? He knows we're going to make mistakes and loves us anyway. A friend reminded me the other day that we cannot disappoint God. To disappoint him would mean He had high expectations of us, which He does not because He already knows our sin nature. However, that does not give us free rein to just say "Oh, because that's in my nature I shouldn't fight against it." That's absurd. My heart grieves when I see Mr. Skimpole returning again and again to Mr. Jarndyce's home. Why can't he see the man is a snake in the grass?! He's an enabler, thinking he can fix and change everyone. That is his flaw, albeit you wouldn't necessarily see it as a sinful flaw, but it is one that does him no good. Our sinful nature, whatever it might be, is something we spend our entire life fighting against. And we should fight againt it. God is not going to be disappointed in us because He never expected us to exceed expectations in the first place.

Charles Dickens, more than many authors, had the gift of perceiving human character. Why else do we feel frustration at Mr. Jarndyce's inaction? Why else do we despise Mr. Skimpole's snake-in-the-grassing? And why else do we love Mr. Clennam and little Amy Dorrit despite any weakness? Because they remind us of ourselves. We see the best and worst of ourselves in these beloved literary characters. Just writing out some thoughts on Dickens has given me more ideas for my article. I'm reminded once again just how much I love Charles Dickens! A world without him would be a bleak place indeed.
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Top Ten Christmas Movies

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

#10
The Christmas Card

I wavered a bit on this 10th choice. It was between The Christmas Card and The Santa Clause, but I decided to go with the more obscure because it is a beautiful and romantic story that should be acknowledged. When officer Cody Cullen arrives at the town where he received a Christmas card, he finds the coldness that had begun to seep into his heart start to melt. When he meets the lovely Faith Spellman, is welcomed into the home of her parents, finds himself working as a carpenter at her father's mill, everything reminds him that his life does go on and that, even though he's lost good friends in the war, there is still reason to hope. I've never seen such a typical idea done so originally and with such a genuine desire to get it right. The acting is exquisite, the setting is magical, and every year I find myself awed by the warmth shown to this lonely soldier who need to find rest. It's beautiful and if you haven't seen The Christmas Card, I urge you to do so, either now before Christmas, or even after the new year.
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An "Ugly Sweater" tribute to Michael Bublé

Monday, December 19, 2011

Look what I found at Gordman's today!
 For the uninformed, Michael Bublé is crazy about "ugly" Christmas sweaters, even though ugly is a relative term. But seriously, now. Who would have thought there would be a coffee brand name called "Ugly Sweater!" This is proof positive that you just never know what you might find!

So, Michael, if you stumble on this post (unlikely) in about 6 months or so this bag of coffee might make its way to you. Providing your agent is kind enough to forward it to you.





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And the award goes to. . .

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Upon the return of his family after a 10 day vacation, Garth awarded me this. How he knew they would be visiting Hollywood, I'm not sure, but I love the sentiment. It'll fit right in next to my James Dean doll and Michael Buble picture frame. :)
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When life gives you lemons . . .

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

There are just some things you can never predict. Take today, for example. I woke up this morning only to find that one of the tires on my car had sprung a slow leak. This also happens to be the day where it's a bit of a challenge getting everyone to work with just three cars and four family members. My only option was to head to Pep Boys where, thankfully, my Dad had already called ahead to let them know I was coming. Mom is going to pick up my sister and take her to work on her lunch hour and the lovely folk at Pep Boys let me drive my car to work and then they drove it back to get the tired fixed or replaced.

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Christmas Books - A Redbird Christmas

Monday, December 12, 2011

I'm taking a break from watching Silence of the Lambs on my Clearplayer. My heartrate was starting to pound a little and I'm all on my own in the house if you don't count the cat. Creeeeeeepy. I'll never look at Stottlemeyer the same in Monk again, that's for sure. *shudders*

Anyone have a clue why my Inkheart post gets hits every week? It's always #1 on my popular posts and I have no idea why. I guess whoever it is is a kindred spirit. :)

A Redbird Christmas by Fannie Flagg

This is one of those books that I would have never picked up if not for it being recommended to me by my library volunteer. Thanks, Margaret!

Turns out the story is rather predictable, but in a good way.

The book follows the life of an elderly man whose doctor demands that he get away from the city and stop drinking if he wants to see another Christmas. So the doctor recommends this little sleepy town by a river in Alabama that has barely 100 inhabitants. Oswald Campbell packs up his life (it fits in one suitcase) and heads out for what he expects to be one last adventure. Raised in an orphanage and named after Campbell soup, Oswald has no earthly ties. Even his marriage fell apart years ago so he literally has nothing to lose.

Yet, there's something about this little town that attracts him. He meets Roy, the man who owns the general store and keeps a redbird (or Cardinal) as a pet. He encounters a little handicapped child named Patsy who was abandoned by her father and taken in by one of the local women. He tries his hardest to avoid romantic entanglements with the widows of the town who've taken a shine to him even though he looks like a "little elf." He learns that life might just be worth living again and the best part is watching his heart soften.

I'm more romantic around Christmas and usually drag out all of my inspirational romances that involve the holidays. While the plot is a little slow around the middle of the book, I just couldn't put it down. Not hard since it's only about 200 pages long. This book is one I wouldn't have chosen for myself but the lack of sexual content and language, plus the gentle and loving natures of the characters, appealed to me. It's cute, it's heartwarming if not original, and it's perfect to read at Christmastime!
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Logic? On 21 Jumpstreet?

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Never read Ralph Waldo Emerson and then watch 21 Jumpstreet. After so many hours of struggling to make sense of Emerson's mayhem (an impossible feat, by the way), the logical part of my brain simply refuses to switch itself off. Hence, the birth of actually finding a purpose in Richard Grieco's role as Dennis Booker. Wow, I never thought that would happen.

I first started watching Jumpstreet about 5 years ago. I'm a Johnny Depp nut, what can I say. Plus, I'm hooked on 80s fashion, crazy thought it may be. When Richard Grieco joined the team, I couldn't stand him. Maybe it was those disgustingly dark eyelashes of his (it was eyelash envy). Or it might have been that I saw him as challenging Johnny's character Tom Hanson. Everyone knew Grieco joined the team so Johnny could avoid participating in certain episodes of which he didn't approve. Grieco was unwanted and disliked so I just went along with the fad, albeit about 20 years too late to have an impact.

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Nathaniel Hawthorne strikes again!

Friday, December 2, 2011

I first encountered the estimable Nathaniel Hawthorne in high school. Back then I despised the man for his dim view of those claiming to be Christians. You could even say I angry at him because I was still very young and immature and couldn't imagine anyone having such a low and depressing opinion of Christians. Now I pity how muddled his mind must have been by expecting Christians to be shining examples of perfection only to be disappointed. Have you ever once met a Christian who was perfect? If you have I'd like to meet him/her because I certainly can't make the same claim.

Now, don't get me wrong, as a believer myself I'm not knocking my fellow Christians. What I am saying is that I see the sin in my own life and so I can see the sin in the lives of others. I'm very aware of the temptations with which I struggle and it sometimes feels like I'm in a constant battle with myself. I look at every other person who is sanctified by the blood of Jesus as someone who also struggles, just the same as I do. This will be a life-long battle with sin. Our problems and temptations don't just vanish when we accept Christ. Christ never promised we would never be tempted, only that we wouldn't be tempted beyond what we can bear. There's a huge difference between the two. Christ gives us the strength to turn away from temptation just as He is there with loving arms to catch us when we fall.

In the realm of Nathaniel Hawthorne, he pens the stories of depressed and melancholy individuals who lose their faith, either in Christians themselves, or in God's ultimate power to save the lost through Christ's sacrifice. In The Minister's Black Veil, I noticed how the idea of the black veil as a representation of sin had warped both the man and those around him. While it is true that God worked throughout the minister's life and that many, many people found themselves convicted of sin, what good did the black veil do him, personally? It was as if he made a personal statement to himself that he would not allow God to purify him, wash him clean of sin, until he had actually died. As if, through his suffering, the lost could be saved.

There is a book by Francine Rivers called The Last Sin Eater that follows this same hypothesis, where only by the solitude and sacrifice of the sin eater, who took all the sins of the townspeople upon himself, could they be saved. He suffered so that they might find truth. But doesn't that defeat the purpose of Christ dying for humanity on the cross? "I am the way, and the truth, and the life, no man comes to the Father, but by Me" is what Christ said in John 14:6. He doesn't need an interim or a go-between for the message to be spoken. He certainly doesn't desire for a godly minister to veil himself as a symbol of the lurking sins inside each man's heart.

I distinctly recall reading Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter in high school and disliking the man's propensity for wanting the Christian to be either wholly good or wholly evil. In reality the Christian, just like any other person, is a mixture of both. The veil might have served its purpose in urging people out of fear to turn away from sin, but I don't see how living that life of intense loneliness separated from God's love did the minister any good. Once we're saved, we're saved, washed clean. There is no need for a physical veil because Christ offered us the veil of His blood on the cross.

All this was to say that as much as I respect Hawthorne's obvious talent as a writer, I cannot agree with his dim view of Christians. We might have the occasional hidden blemish deep in our hearts but I'm firmly convinced that God roots out evil wherever He might find it. Usually, for those who know Him, He provides a pretty solid wake-up call. And it doesn't come in the shape of a terrifyingly shrouded minister.
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